Here's
yet another insight. I would
venture to guess that all
photographers start out by observing
ambient light & utilizing
it. Many excellent
photographers, including many of my
favorites, never go beyond that --
they see light, they appreciate light,
and they record it with great
skill.
I
think I took a different evolutionary
path -- at times, I was not satisfied
with the light I found on the scene,
or I had to arrange sittings at times
when good light simply wasn't
available. This was especially
true when I worked for a living -- I
had to schedule sittings in the
evenings, when sunlight was scarce. Over time, I learned
to create the light I want using
studio lighting & light modifying
tools & techniques.
Originally,
I looked for good light & placed
interesting subjects in it.
Nowadays, I think about interesting
subjects & figure out interesting
ways to light it.
So
far this summer, Jessica & I
utilized found light, either at the
location in Northwest Portland or in
my house. I should also mention
that during these "natural
light" sittings, I utilized the
digital camera quite a bit; in fact,
the all day photo orgy with Betcee May
was totally digital.
So
far this sitting, we utilized sunlight
streaming through the window.
But I was determined to host an
"old school" sitting, and an
"old school" sitting for me
involved studio light & film
exposures.
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We set up the
studio lighting. I chose a
gentle approach. I use the
big honkin' soft box as the main
light & an up light on the off
side. I've been
experimenting with that up light a
bit -- I like the images.
Often times, when
using studio lighting, the light
on the figure isn't good for
lighting the face, and versa
vice. I love the look of
Jessica's skin, but I don't like
it when the up light hits her
face.
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See?
Better.
So
far this sitting, I've had
more insights than ever.
But we are not done -- here's
another insight:
I
was very, very nervous about
photographing Jessica.
Now, I'm often excited before
a sitting, and an anxious
moment isn't unusual, but I
felt an increased pressure
about this sitting. Make
no mistake, Jessica is a
talented & experienced
model, and she is easy to work
with. But over the past
several months, we've become
good friends. I
definitely wanted to show
Jessica the best pictures
she's ever seen of herself. |
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I
told Jessica that I was especially
nervous about this sitting.
She asked why, and I told her that
it was because we had become good
friends, and because of that, I
felt an extra bit of pressure to
produce.
She
observed that it should have been
the opposite -- because we were
friends, we should have felt more
comfortable with each other.
Thinking
about that afterwards, I suppose
that Jessica
felt more comfortable posing for
me probably because
we have become friends. That, I suppose, is a
difference between her & me.
She found the optimistic,
constructive interpretation.
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Of
course, she's right.
Because we've become friends,
this sitting should be more
comfortable for us. And
it is. I was nervous
before we got started, but
once we got into it, things
worked smoothly.
More
than that, Jessica became an
active participant. For
example, she suggested that we
spend a little time
photographing her with her
leather jacket. One
tangent insight: I find
that when I pressure myself to
produce works that pleases
others, I often fail to
produce quality work, but
paradoxically, when I don't
care about pleasing others
& just let things happen,
I produce my best work, and
that work often exceeds
others' expectations. |
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Normally,
I would say that it is a mistake
to clothe a model once you've got
her nude, but I don't mind in this
case.
I
certainly don't mind looking at
Jessica's face.
Just
remember -- everyone is nude under
their clothes. That leads to
another insight -- Jessica & I
think alike a lot. We see a
scene, appreciate its light, and
imagine a nude figure in it.
Further, we see a person &
imagine what they look like
without clothing. We are
thinking about that right now --
we are imagining you without
clothes. Example:
ever talk to a telephone
operator? Nearly everybody
does. But do you imagine
that the operator is nude when she
or he is talking to you? I
do, all the time. Am I sick
or what?
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When
Jessica comes into town to
visit me, she usually takes
the light rail downtown, and I
often meet her at her
stop. I am often struck
by how, well, normal she looks
on the street & how
radiant she looks when
photographed. On the
street, she looks like every
college aged young woman you
might meet -- she dresses in
casual, informal tom boy
clothing, she smiles easily,
she moves sometimes with
confidence & sometimes
not.
But
Jessica is one of those rare
people who simply blossoms
when you pay attention.
That, too, is an
insight. I've found that
when you pay attention to
people, they react better to
you. For example, my
butcher's name is Chris, he is
a single parent of a 2 year
old son, and he enjoys Oakland
Raiders games. He looks
forward to seeing me, as I do,
and somehow I think this
translates into slightly
better cuts of meat. Try
an experiment of your own. |
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Okay,
here's an incomplete insight. I've
said before that the only
reality TV show I like is
MTV's "The Real
World". Most
so-called reality TVs are not
real at all -- strangers are
pitted against each other
& are rewarded for
screwing their buddies.
Worse, they make things into
competitions that shouldn't be --
why should finding a spouse be
a competitive entertainment;
why should wilderness survival
or losing weight be competitive? But The
Real World isn't like that at
all -- seven young adults are
thrown together in a spicy
living arrangement with an
interesting job, and that's
it. We get to watch
these young people make the
transition from the
unconditional love of their
families to the more adult
relationship of peers.
And since these folks tend to
drink a lot and hold onto
their selfish or romantic
ways, there's plenty of drama. So,
here's the incomplete
insight: how come I
often forget that Jessica is
young? She is, in fact,
younger than any of this
year's participants in The
Real World. |
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Knowing
Jessica, I know she is subject to
the social tidal forces that all
women her age face, including:
-
Adult
relationships
-
Uncertainty
about her place in the world
-
Uncertainty
about how to achieve success
with family, friends, career
-
etc.
And
yet, I forget that she's so
young. Perhaps that's a back
handed compliment -- I do think
she is mature beyond her years,
but there are times when I am
reminded.
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